Home > Uncategorized > It’s Been A While…

It’s Been A While…

Hi all.

So, I probably need to explain where I’ve been and what’s been going on. First off, I’m sorry I haven’t updated. I’ve had a bit of a rough patch with school and work. It has been a really stressful quarter. I’m really starting to get the hang of school and am ecstatic with my progress. It doesn’t hurt to have awesome classmates and professors:) Even with the great education, I am just stressed…hmm…hard to explain.  I guess a big part of me is struggling with all the change going on in my life. In less than a month, I’ll be done with my job after 3.5 years. I’ll miss the kids and some of the teachers and staff so much. I am also still adjusting to life without my nonna, without her house and with how our family is without her. I miss her so much sometimes; it hurts from the bottom of my soul. I am beginning to move on and it’s weird and uncomfortable, but in a sense freeing. I know I am strong enough to be successful and live my best life, but I guess I thought she would be here right along side with me. What’s keeping me going is knowing that she would say, “Don’t be a baby!” haha. Some days are better than others. Grief just doesn’t have a time frame I guess. I’ll try to put my big girl pants on and do it!:)

Another thing going on with me is that I am having quite a resurgence of ED thoughts. I’ve been disappointed with myself with my own “healthy living” progress. With so much going on, I have definitely put taking case of myself on the back burner. When I’m not eating well, I feel crappy. When I feel crappy I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. You get where this is going? Poor self image, etc. I have a little down time with school assignments and am trying to focus more on being my better self. I guess when I did the majority of work on my ED in college, I thought the fight was over. Over the last few weeks I’ve realized that the fight hasn’t ended. With  any addiction or disorder, the fight never ends. I think somewhere along the way I forgot to fight for myself and just wanted to fight for other people. I won’t be able to help anyone in therapy if I am not OK with me, right? I have some work to do ladies and gents. Join me?

I love all of you who read this. You’re awesome. Promise to keep updating, even if it’s not always awesome…at least it’s real!

ps. I ❤ you Thor! she totally wanted me to mention her in the blog 😉 Done and done!

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  1. Leesh
    May 19, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    I’ll join you Kat! I think body image issues haunt the majority of us ladies, no matter how we try to shield ourselves from them. Perhaps we can have some AMS time and discuss this weekend? I’m looking forward to seeing you!! Almost feels like a dance party is in order…

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