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I am more than aware that this blog began as a quest in healthy living. The truth is life just gets in the way of good intentions. The truth is that I have found it easier  to let things go than fight the good fight in being healthy. Inconsistency has been my middle name over the last few months. I do have to say it was not all in vain… The last month or so has been a lesson in understanding myself, where I am in my ED and where I am going from here.Have you ever woken up and said, ENOUGH? That was me today after waking up and barely being able to move after doing the non-aerobic sport of painting. haha. Sad but true. What I do know for sure is that I may not look the way I want, but I am happy with who I am… more than I ever was before. So there. 😉

I have been OBSESSED with reading Geneen Roth over the last month or so. She makes a lot of sense to me. I won’t get to much into it, but she really encourages us to listen to our bodies more. Many of us with food related issues stop listening for what we need and abuse food so it will hopefully fill the void, insecurity or problems we have. Then we go on diets that tell us, hey! You obviously can’t trust yourself to do this right, so eat what we tell you when we tell you. That discourages us even more to listen to our bodies. Well starting tomorrow, I am going to really encourage myself to listen to what I need and not what others tell me I need. Tomorrow I will also fight. Fight the urge to to not fall back into habit. Sometimes I think a lot of times even after issues have been resolved or at least understood, people still engage in self-destructive behavior because it is just something they have always done – it’s more of a habit than a punishment or reward. And I have come too far to let myself down. It’s just a fact jack.

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